


Operation Dont Fucking Die

by Prince_Enby



Series: quanrantines a bitch, lets get you some wips [5]
Category: Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997)
Genre: Chatlogs, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crushes, F/F, Getting Together, Hacking, Humor, Implied/Referenced Sex, Innuendo, M/M, general silliness, ooc probably, toxic relationships and how to fix them :)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26272099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_Enby/pseuds/Prince_Enby
Summary: hacker in the system, whats she gonna do.call you a dumbass, thats what.Or: The crackfic that is also a chatfic.
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough/Original Female Character(s) if you squint, Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Series: quanrantines a bitch, lets get you some wips [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1897849
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	1. *john mulaney voice* theres a HACKER. LOOSE. in the SHINRA.

**Author's Note:**

> there are about twelve chapters of this already written. and all of it is cringey and self-indulgent. im almost embarrassed to post this.
> 
> almost.

_Unknown sent a private message to Genesis Rhapsodos.  
0954 AM_

_Unknown:_ ~~all that awaits you is a somber morrow, no matter where the winds may blow.~~

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Pardon?

_Unknown_ : hi owo

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Who is this?

_Unknown_ : oh. . . u know ;)

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : I'm afraid I don't.

_Unknown_ : lol u right u don't know me

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : How did you get this number?

_Unknown_ : ;)))

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : I'm serious. This is a private number.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Tell me how you got it, or I'll report this.

_Unknown_ : oh noooo not the turkey mennnnn

_Unknown_ : oh golly gosh gee i guess i have to spill all my secrets

_Unknown_ : dont want them to go gobble gobble on me :((((

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Is this a joke?

_Unknown_ : nah

_Unknown_ : but u know what IS a joke ?

_Unknown_ : hollander's claim to """"cure you"""""

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : How do you know about that?!

_Unknown_ : would u believe me if i said minerva herself beamed the information straight into my mindhole

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : No, I would not.

_Unknown_ : sounds like a 'you' problem

_Unknown_ : ANYWAY yea hollander's lying to you :/

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : And why should I believe you? I do not even know who you are.

_Unknown_ : tbh if u believed me right away i'd've called u a dumbass so im glad u got SOME braincells left

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Enough joking. If you don't prove I can trust you, I'm forwarding your number to the Turks and letting them deal with you.

_Unknown_ : 1. I'd like to see u try fucker 2. give me a second

_Unknown_ sent a file: _hojorevenegeplan.rtf_

_Unknown_ : lol found this on his computer

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : . . .

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : How do I know you yourself didn't just write this?

_Unknown_ : thot u might say that

_Unknown_ sent a picture: _emailscreenshots.png_

_Unknown_ : sorry ur boss is a dick btw

_Unknown_ : but yeah its prolly in ur best interest NOT to desert just yet :/

_Unknown_ : i mean, unless u like the idea of bein manipulated like that

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : . . .I see your point.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : However, if you're oh, so smart, then pray tell how I'm supposed to find a cure?

_Unknown_ : uh,,,,,

_Unknown_ : havent got that far yet

_Genesis Rhapsodos:_ ...

_Unknown_ : LOOK my first priority was making sure u didnt desert bc thatd be a huge fuckup okay? I got a lot of ideas on how to ACTUALLY cure it but u gotta stay in shinra for me to carry it out

_Unknown_ : just gimme some time okay??? pwetty pwease???

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : . . . Let me think about it.

_Unknown_ : YAYYY

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : One last question, though, that you haven't answered.

_Unknown:_ shoot owo

_Genesis Rhapsodos:_ Just who are you?

_Unknown_ changed their name to _minnie mouse_

_minnie mouse_ : that answer your question?

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Hardly, no.

_minnie mouse_ : ur welcome :)

_minnie mouse_ : ANYWAY ill let u be for now so u can think it over

_minnie mouse_ : Bye bye <3

_minnie mouse is offline._

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : . . .

_Genesis Rhapsodos is offline._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Genesis Rhapsodos sent a message to minnie mouse.  
2232 PM_

_Genesis Rhapsodos:_ I've thought it over.

_minnie mouse_ : ooh?? 

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'll trust you.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : For now.

_minnie mouse_ : FUCK YEAH

_minnie mouse_ : thank you so so much i will not let you down mr. rubarb!

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : I can and will change my mind.

_minnie mouse:_ OH NO im sowwy pwease downt

_minnie mouse_ : in all seriousness tho, really, thank you.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : You're acting like I'm the one that offered to save YOUR life, not the other way around.

_minnie mouse_ : :)

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Why are you even doing this? Why are you helping me?

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : What's in it for you?

_minnie mouse_ : what can i say i just like helping people :)

_minnie mouse_ : i promise u wont be let down. i will literally die before i let that happen.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : I see?

_minnie mouse_ : im gonna go brush up on allll my plans now okie dokie love u bye bye

_minnie mouse is offline._

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : . . .okay.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : I'm going to regret this, I just know it.

_Genesis Rhapsodos is offline._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
_minnie mouse added Genesis Rhapsodos, Angeal Hewley, Sephiroth, and Zack Fair to a chatroom.  
1245 PM_

_minnie mouse_ change the room name to _avengers ASSEMBLE_

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : I've changed my mind.

_minnie mouse_ : awwww dont be like that mr. rubarb

_minnie mouse_ : itll be fun i promise :)

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : No.

_Sephiroth_ : Genesis, what's going on?

_Angeal Hewley_ : Is this a friend of yours?

_minnie mouse_ : ya we're bffs <3

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : No, we're not.

_minnie mouse_ : GASP gengen. . . after all we've been through?? ur gonna throw me under the bus like that??? im heartbroken.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : We just met last week? And you won't tell me your real name?

_minnie mouse_ : irrelevant

_Angeal Hewley_ : Why are we here?

_minnie mouse_ : cuz of me bitch

_Sephiroth_ : How did you get out numbers?

_minnie mouse_ : forbidden phonebook

_Zack Fair_ : Most importantly, I think, why am I here?? I can understand a chatroom with all of the Firsts, but I was only promoted to Second a couple months ago...

_minnie mouse_ : don't worry Zack you'll make first class soon enough :) i believe in you

_minnie mouse_ : to answer your question. in the grand scheme of things, you are just as important as the other three.

_minnie mouse_ : also youre just really cool and i like you lots :)

_Sephiroth_ : Why did you answer his question and not mine?

_minnie mouse_ : i like him better than all of you combined and i wont apologize for that

_Sephiroth_ : I see.

_Sephiroth_ : Fair, ask her what the point of this chatroom is.

_Zack Fair_ : Yes sir!

_Zack Fair_ : Hey, Mrs. minnie mouse, what's the point of this chatroom?

_minnie mouse_ : dirty. i like it.

_minnie mouse_ : unfortunately, thats a dumb question.

_minnie mouse_ : the point of this chatroom, as is ALL chatrooms, is to make it easier for all of us to talk with each other

_minnie mouse_ : duh

_Zack Fair_ : Okay but why? 

_Zack Fair_ : And who are you??

_minnie mouse_ : im minnie fucking mouse cant you read?

_minnie mouse_ : as for the why. . . hehe. . .

_minnie mouse_ : u know why ;)))

_Zack Fair_ : No?? I dont??

_minnie mouse_ : yeah u right

_minnie mouse_ : dw tho youll know one day

_minnie mouse_ : and youll get down on ur knees and go "ohhh thank u so much minnie mouse i owe u my life alhdlafajjlfa step on me please"

_minnie mouse_ : but until that day comes youll just have to deal with me knowing more than u

_Sephiroth_ : I'm reporting this to the Department of Administrative Research.

_minnie mouse_ : mhmm and when u do tell em I said to hurry up and get here bc im out of turkey breast and its almost lunch time om nom nom

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Now hold on just a minute, Sephiroth. Don't be hasty.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : There's no need to get the Turks.

_Sephiroth_ : What?

_minnie mouse_ : gengen :o ur stepping in fr little ole me??

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Shut up. Die.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Despite being annoying, she hasn't done any harm just yet. She probably just got our numbers through our fanclubs. You know how they are; It's happened before, correct?

_Sephiroth_ : While that may be true, it still doesn't explain how she got Fair's number, though.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : You do realize how often he flirts, right? She probably just overheard hiim giving his number to someone else.

_minnie mouse_ : yea totally!!!1

_Sephiroth_ : This is still a security breach, and as such needs to be reported.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ sent a private message to _Sephiroth._

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : There's really no need to do that. I promise she's not a threat.

_Sephiroth_ : Why do you want her here so bad?

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : I find her just as annoying as you do, but. . .

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : It is like she said. You'll understand one of these days. Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess, after all.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Trust me, my friend. Please?

_Sephiroth_ : . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_|avengers ASSEMBLE|_

_Sephiroth_ : Fine. I won't report this.

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Thank you, my friend.

_minnie mouse_ : YAAY see i told u mr. roth im an innocent baby no turkeys allowed

_Sephiroth_ : You said nothing of the sort.

_minnie mouse_ : uh yea i did

_minnie mouse_ sent an image: _chatroomscreenshot(edited).png_

_Sephiroth_ : That's not even subtle.

_Angeal Hewley_ : Wait, we're just going to leave her here? Really??

_minnie mouse_ : nuh-uh apple man u lost ur chance to argue against me when gengen dm'd mr. roth

_minnie mouse:_ so no complaining

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Don't call me that.

_minnie mouse_ : aww but gengen :(

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Call me literally anything but that.

_minnie mouse_ : okay

_Genesis Rhapsodos_ : Wait, 

_minnie mouse_ changed _Genesis Rhapsodos_ 's name to _fake shakespeare fan_.

_fake shakespeare fan_ : I regret ever responding to you.

_minnie mouse_ : dont worry ur not gonna be alone for long

_Angeal Hewley_ : What?

_Zack Fair_ : ??

_Sephiroth_ : No.

_minnie mouse_ : :)

_minnie mouse_ changed _Sephiroth_ 's name to _angel of darkness (and also my heart)._

_minnie mouse_ changed _Angeal Hewley_ 's name to _its about the apples._

_minnie mouse_ changed _Zack Fair_ 's name to _old yeller._

_minnie mouse:_ yuor welcome :)

_old yeller_ : Wait, why is Sephiroth the angel of your heart? I thought I was your favorite :(

_minnie mouse_ : DONT WORRY YOU STILL ARE

_minnie mouse_ : ur named after my favorite ever book and im a huge bookworm so its a big compliment :)

_old yeller_ : I don't think I've heard of this book but okay :)

_its about the apples_ : I don't understand mine?

_minnie mouse_ sent a picture: _itsaboutthecones(edited).jpeg_

_its about the apples_ : That clears up absolutely nothing.

_minnie mouse_ : i know, your welcome.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart)_ : I am very close to changing my mind.

_minnie mouse_ : if u feed me to the turkeys then youll never find out for urself who i am. the mystery will haunt you forever. youll be retired at 89 in a wooden cabin in ur rocking chair and ask yourself "i wonder what would've happened if i listened to the talking mouse?" and then you die bc the pure, unadulterated regret will cause spontaneous cardiac arrest. and then youll be known as the general that was killed by a mouse.

_minnie mouse_ : do you want that to be your future, sephiroth? huh? to be known as the killed-by-mice-man? HUH?

_angel of darkness (and also my heart)_ is offline.

_minnie mouse_ : i think i convinced him pretty well

_fake shakespeare fan_ : Gaia, you are just awful.

_minnie mouse_ : GODDESS mr. rubarb there is a WHOLE CHATROOM full of people, you don't have to keep talking to yourself. It's okay.

_fake shakespeare fan_ is offline. __

_its about the apples_ : . . . I think I'm going to make sure they don't break anything. 

_its about the apples_ : Nice to meet you, I suppose? 

_minnie mouse_ : nice to meet you too! now go rein in ur twinks 

_its about the apples_ is offline. 

_old yeller_ : So. 

_minnie mouse_ : so so. 

_old yeller_ : Just the two of us left, huh? 

_minnie mouse_ : seems like it 

_old yeller_ : Did you really get my number when I gave it to someone else? 

_minnie mouse_ : yea, but i was eavesdropping from the cctv feed not by actually being in the room 

_old yeller_ : Oh 

_old yeller_ : Have you actually met any of us in person, ever? 

_minnie mouse_ : on all levels except physical, yes 

_old yeller_ : I dont know what that means, but okay 

_old yeller_ : I actually have a mission to get to so i gotta go 

_minnie mouse_ : okie dokie!! kick some ass <3 

_old yeller_ : haha yeah 

_old yeller_ is offline. 

_minnie mouse_ : hehehe. . . 

_minnie mouse:_ all according to keikaku >:) 

_minnie mouse_ is offline. 


	2. just wait until they hear the golden saucer theme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy.

_|avengers ASSEMBLE|_

_minnie mouse and old yeller are online._

_minnie mouse:_ nnngnngajshgkh im BORED

_minnie mouse:_ this is BORING

_minnie mouse:_ zack how long do these dumb meetings last

_old yeller:_ At least an hour, I think?

_minnie mouse:_ augaiodhioghihoslkjdgklajjd B O R I N G

_old yeller:_ Are you

_old yeller:_ Are you watching the Board Meeting??

_minnie mouse:_ ya

_minnie mouse:_ rly wish i wasnt tho

_old yeller:_ How???

_minnie mouse:_ dumdum idiots put cctv cams in the boardroom

_old yeller:_ Why?? Are you watching it???

_minnie mouse:_ bc the firsts are there so i thought itd be interesting

_minnie mouse:_ but its just everyone talking abt money

_old yeller:_ That does sound pretty boring

_minnie mouse:_ it is :(

_minnie mouse:_ ...unless

_old yeller:_ ...Unless?

_minnie mouse:_ zack quick whats the most annoying song you can think of

_old yeller:_ UHHH

_old yeller sent an audio file: chocobotheme(edited).mp4_

_minnie mouse:_ that was fast

_old yeller:_ Its saved to my phone

_minnie mouse:_ why. do you have this. what the fuck.

_old yeller:_ Rrreasons?

_minnie mouse:_ whatever

_minnie mouse:_ watch THIS

_old yeller:_ Why do I have a bad feeling

_old yeller:_ ,

_old yeller:_ WWHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO

_minnie mouse:_ spiced it up babey !

_old yeller:_ WHY DID YOU MAKE IT SO LOUD OW YOU KNOW WE HAVE ENHANCED HEARING RIGHT

_minnie mouse:_ i want it to be heard even in the deepest reaches of the science department

_minnie mouse:_ now if youll excuse me

_minnie mouse is offline._

_its about the apples is online in online._

_its about the apples:_ ZACHARY FAIR.

_old yeller:_ IT WASNT ME ANGEAL I SWEAR

_its about the apples:_ DON'T LIE TO ME. I WAS THERE WHEN YOU TRIED TO SET THAT AS SEPHIROTH'S RING TONE.

_old yeller:_ Okay yeah thats fair

_old yeller:_ BUT I SERIOUSLY DIDNT DO IT THIS TIME

_old yeller:_ IT WAS MINNIE

_its about the apples:_ AND WHO GAVE HER THE MUSIC?

_old yeller:_ Uh

_old yeller is offline._

_its about the apples:_ ZACK!

_fake shakespeare fan is online._

_angel of darkness (and also my heart) is online._

_fake shakespeare fan:_ WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Isn't this the song Fair tried to put in my phone?

_fake shakespeare fan:_ ZACK?

_fake shakespeare fan:_ ZACK DID THIS??

_its about the apples:_ Technically Minnie did it, but Zack gave her the song. That boy..!

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Angeal, how do you feel about no longer having a student.

_its about the apples:_ Gen, no.

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Gen, yes.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ It's not that bad? I don't see the issue? Apart from it being disruptive, of course.

_fake shakespeare fan:_ The fact that it ended the meeting is the only good thing about that insipid tune.

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Also, WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT THAT BAD. MY EARS ARE BLEEDING.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ No, they aren't?

_its about the apples:_ Its a turn of phrase, Seph.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Ah.

_fake shakespeare fan:_ AHDGHS;IDHGAILHhdlkshglkhfglkj

_fake shapespeare fan:_ I can't take this anymore. Where's that damn puppy.

_minnie mouse is online._

_minnie mouse:_ check the roof 

_minnie mouse:_ but bring the fight somewhere else bc theres no cams there n i wanna watch

_fake shakespeare fan:_ YOU

_its about the apples:_ Please turn the music off, Im begging you.

_minnie mouse:_ beg

_minnie mouse is offline._

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Angeal if you dont want me to throw your puppy off the building I recommend you get there first.

_fake shakespeare fan is offline._

_its about the apples:_ GEN NO

_its about the apples is offline._

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ ?

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ It's not that bad?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _old yeller sent a private message to minnie mouse._

_old yeller:_ WHY DID YOU TELL THEM WHERE I WAS

_minnie mouse:_ drama

_old yeller:_ GENESIS IS GONNA KILL ME

_minnie mouse:_ ur fault for giving me the music lol

_old yeller:_ I WOULDNT HAVE IF I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA HACK THE PH SYSTEM

_minnie mouse:_ what did you THINK i was gonna go with it

_old yeller:_ I DONT KNOW IM NOT A HACKER

_old yeller:_ AH HES HERE IMGONNADIE

_minnie mouse:_ go and beg mr. roth for mercy. he actually kinda likes the song so he might just help you.

_old yeller:_ what do you mean he likes it. i made it and even i dont like it.

_minnie mouse:_ idk man hes weird

_minnie mouse:_ now shoo before u become a zack kebab

_old yeller:_ EEP RIGHT  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
 _old yeller sent a private message to angel of darkness (and also my heart)._

_old yeller:_ HELP 

_old yeller:_ LET ME IN YOUR OFFICE

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Why.

_old yeller:_ PROTECT ME PLEASE 

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Why.

_old yeller:_ GENESIS WANTS TO KILL ME PLEASE I DONT WANT TO DIE

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Why.

_old yeller:_ ???????

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Why should I help you. You brought this on yourself.

_old yeller:_ Uhm,,,,

_old yeller:_ OOH I'll do like a whole half of your paperwork.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ No, you can't.

_old yeller:_ Can too!

_old yeller:_ I can forge your signature! 

_old yeller sent a picture: SEEIWROTETHIS.png._

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Why do you know how to do that.

_old yeller:_ Uh,

_old yeller:_ Rreno?

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Hm.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Understandable. You may come in.

_old yeller:_ THANK YOU I OWE YOU MY LIFE

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ And four pounds of paperwork. Start immediately, and I'll even let you hide under my desk when Genesis comes by.

_old yeller:_ THANK YOU SEPHIROTH YOU ARE A SAINT  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _|avengers ASSEMBLE|_

_fake shakespeare fan is online._

_fake shakespeare fan:_ @old yeller WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

_old yeller is online._

_old yeller:_ NO WHERE YOULL FIND ME OLD MAN

_fake shakespeare fan:_ IM GOING TO FLAY YOU ALIVE

_old yeller:_ NOT IF SEPHIROTH KILLS ME FIRST

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Sephiroth knows where you are?

_old yeller:_ ,

_old yeller:_ NO?

_fake shakespeare fan:_ @angel of darkness (and also my heart)

_old yeller:_ NO, WAIT

_angel of darkness (and also my heart) is online._

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Sephiroth. Do be a good friend and tell me Zack's whereabouts.

_old yeller:_ NO PLEASE

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Why would I know where Zack is?

_fake shakespeare fan:_ He's already practically admitted that you know. Now where is he.

_old yeller:_ N O

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ I don't know.

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Like hell you don't. Where is he.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ I don't know.

_fake shakespeare fan:_ SEPHIROTH.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Genesis.

_fake shakespeare fan:_ ...

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Okay, it's obvious you two are in cahoots. I'm coming over to your office.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Don't,

_old yeller:_ PLEASE DONT

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Oh? And whyever not?

_old yeller:_ ,

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ You'll just get angry once you see he isn't here and light my work on fire.

_old yeller:_ YEAH THAT

_fake shakespeare fan:_ ...I suppose you have a point.

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Fine, then. Prove he isn't in your office.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Fine.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart) sent a picture: myoffice.png_

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Sephiroth, I don't know how to tell you this, but he is very much in that picture.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ I don't know what you're talking about.

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Sephiroth, he is sitting in one of your office chairs. He's right in the center of the photo.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ No, he isn't.

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Do you think I'm stupid or something?

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ No, but I am concerned that you seem to be experiencing visual hallucinations of Fair. Do you need to head to the infirmary?

_fake shakespeare fan:_ I'M NOT HALLUCINATING

_fake shakespeare fan:_ @its about the apples

_old yeller:_ UH,,

_its about the apples is online._

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Fair is most definitely not in the picture, so unless you have some strange glitch in your PHS, you must be hallucinating.

_its about the apples:_ Who's hallucinating?

_old yeller:_ GENESIS

_its about the apples:_ Zack.

_old yeller:_ Oh shit youre still mad at me too arent you

_its about the apples:_ I'll deal with you later. What's this about Genesis hallucinating?

_fake shakespeare fan:_ IM NOT FUCKING HALLUCINATING

_fake shakespeare fan:_ SCROLL UP AND LOOK AT THE PICTURE SEPH SENT

_fake shakespeare fan:_ ZACK IS QUITE CLEARLY IN THAT PHOTO, RIGHT? RIGHT??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _angel of darkness (and also my heart) sent a private message to its about the apples._

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Say no.

_its about the apples:_ Why??

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Please? For me?

_its about the apples:_ ,

_its about the apples:_ You owe me for this.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Thank you :)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_its about the apples:_ ...No, I can't say he is. Are you sure you're looking at the right picture, Gen?

_old yeller:_ holy shit i allsdkhgalkhdl

_fake shakespeare fan:_ WHAT 

_fake shakespeare fan:_ THE FUCK

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Genesis, I think you may need to take the rest of the day off. I believe the stress may be getting to you.

_its about the apples:_ I agree. You need to relax for a while.

_fake shakespeare fan:_ YOUVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME

_minnie mouse is online._

_minnie mouse:_ hey gen if ur still hunting zack i just saw him heading towards the turkey dep so u might wanna catch him b4 he gets there

_minnie mouse is offline._

_fake shakespeare fan:_ ????????

_fake shakespeare fan:_ BUT THE PICTURE????

_old yeller:_ oh ha ha yeah you got me im in the picture hehehe,,,,,

_old yeller:_ yup sephiroths office is totally where i am oops i got caught,

_old yeller:_ if you wanna kill me you should toooootallllllly go there and not the turks floor,

_old yeller:_ hehehe,,,,

_fake shakespeare fan:_ ,

_fake shakespeare fan:_ Zack, you have three seconds to convince any of the Turks to help save your pitiful life. Your days are numbered.

_fake shakespeare fan is offline._

_old yeller:_ Holy shit that worked

_old yeller:_ Thank you Angeal I owe you one,,,,

_its about the apples:_ Zack, you have three seconds to convince Sephiroth to help save your pitiful life. Your days are numbered.

_its about the apples is offline._

_old yeller:_ Fuck

_old yeller:_ Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Sephiroth?

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ Don't worry. I have it covered.

_old yeller:_ Im going to owe you a hell of a lot for all of this, arent I

_angel of darkness (and also my heart):_ A 'hell of a lot' of paperwork, yes.

_angel of darkness (and also my heart) is offline._

_old yeller:_ @minnie mouse I know youre watching all this go down, so just know: I hate you.

_old yeller is offline._

_minnie mouse is online._

_minnie mouse:_ love u too zacky poo <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✌

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to my unfunny mind :^)


End file.
